I had a conversation
with my Mom last weekend in which I was reminded of something I
probably knew at one time but had forgotten. It was a reference to a
moment in time that, had things worked out differently, would have
led to a completely different life than the one I have lived. Given the
theory of multiple universes, somewhere out there in the infinite
Multiverse, I led that life. I can’t say I’ve been obsessing with
this, but I have been sort of fascinated for the past few days.
I’m going to
attempt to tell this story without using any names. There are people who are involved and have no idea about any of this. It’s not a
bad story, just not something that needs to be brought into their
life (at least I don’t think so).
I’ve never had a
lot of contact with my Dad’s side of the family. He only had one
brother who was much older than him. His kids, my first cousins, are much older
than I am and never lived near me in my lifetime. Their kids are my
age and I have met them once at their grandfather’s funeral
twenty-five-plus years ago. It’s pretty safe to say I wouldn’t
know them if I saw them. There were other cousins, children of my
grandmother’s siblings, only one of which I ever have any contact
with. It was a strange contrast for me, because my Mom’s side of
the family is huge and I have lots and lots of cousins I have spent
my life with and feel incredibly close to even though we rarely see
each other.
When I was little we
used to take my paternal grandmother to visit her youngest sister. On these
occasions I would see her grandchildren, my second cousins. There
were a pair of sisters who were four or five years older than me, so
it was difficult to really play with them when I was there. In 1967,
when I was six, a little sister was born in their family. I only
vaguely remember this.
Not long after,
probably within the year, their Mom died while in the hospital,
leaving the two girls and a newborn baby with their father.
So, the story Mom
told me this weekend, is that during the time that the widowed father
didn’t know what to do, she briefly discussed the possibility of
adopting the baby and raising it. I don’t know how detailed these
discussions were or how far it went, but needless to say, it didn’t
happen. He eventually remarried and over time, after the deaths of my
grandmother and her sister, we gradually lost touch with most of that
family.
But somewhere out
there in the Multiverse I had a little sister come to live with me.
And, I realized,
somewhere out there in the real world, is a forty-something woman, my second cousin, who
could have been my sister, who I don’t know at all and who has no
idea I exist.
Fascinating.
So, I went internet
stalking. I have a friend who went to the high school I was sure she
would have attended. She was younger than him, but it was a small
country school, so I thought he might have some connections. I was
right. He didn’t know her personally, but he was able to figure out
who she was and give me her married name. She’s on Facebook. Lives
in West Virginia. I’ve seen her picture. This was all to sate my
curiosity. I won’t name her here. I have no inclination to contact
her at all. She’s a stranger who I probably shouldn’t invite into
my strange land.
But out there,
somewhere, we were more than that.
